bionic blonde

 

Simple rules of becoming a Bionic Blonde

  1. BulletWearing a mood ring is highly recommended. If you don’t still have yours from the 70s, order one off the internet. It’s the only way to really know with 1000% accuracy how you feel about each episode, Jaime’s wardrobe, and life in general.

  2. BulletYou must swear that Jaime Sommers and Steve Austin are soul mates and are destined to be together forever and ever. (Or have a healthy tolerance for those of us who do.) Bionic Blondes generally hurl things at the TV whenever there’s a scene where Jaime flirts with any guy named Not!Steve.

  3. BulletYou must try to remind yourself that Jaime Sommers wasn’t real, she was just a fictional television character. (I know, take a moment if you need to. I’ll wait.) Therefore you must promise not to take any of this seriously. We are truly devoted fans of this series, but people, jumping off buildings in polyester pantsuits can be funnnnny. If this doesn’t make you chuckle, then you probably aren’t a Bionic Blonde and should pretend you don’t hang out here.


  4. BulletLive life in slow motion.

  5. BulletYes, you may use “bionic” as a verb. Jaime bionics things all the time.

  6. Bullet♥ Above all else, you must *heart* Jaime Sommers. ♥







 

The Bionic Blonde’s Urban Dictionary

A definition of terms that continue to resurface in reviews, with a link to their story origins. (Check back—this dictionary isn’t finished yet.) And study hard like Jaime. There could be a test later!


  1. BulletAusommers: Our celebrity Astronaut & Tennis Pro supercouple's nickname. Steve Austin + Jaime Sommers = “Ausommers.”  Like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie = “Brangelina.”  First appeared: The Bionic Woman pt. 2

  2. BulletBig Valley Blouse: The infamous, really low cut, I-can't-believe-the-networks-allowed-this- blouse that Jaime wore in Brain Wash.

  3. BulletBudapest!Bonk: The1980s mission explosion in Budapest that reversed / cured Jaime's amnesia and her memories of Steve. First appeared: Return of the SMDM and BW

  4. BulletDr. Crankypants: Rudy Wells, whenever he's in a sour mood. First appeared: The Bionic Dog

  5. BulletJamie's Jammies: The Bionic Woman's fabulous pajamas, worthy of a QVC Shopping Network line. First appeared: Out of Body

  6. BulletNot!Steve: Jaime's relationships or flirtations with guys who aren't Steve Austin. First appeared: The Bionic Dog

  7. BulletStun!Love: Steve's sudden, distant gazes whenever he has romantic flashbacks of Jaime. First appeared: Return of the SMDM and BW

  8. BulletTravel Packing Genius: The Bionic Woman's uncanny ability to fit lots and lots of wardrobe changes into one suitcase when traveling on missions. First appeared: African Connection and analyzed here.

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