Simple rules of becoming a Bionic Blonde√ Wearing a mood ring is highly recommended. If you don’t still have yours from the 70s, order one off the internet. It’s the only way to really know with 1000% accuracy how you feel about each episode, Jaime’s wardrobe, and life in general.√ You must swear that Jaime Sommers and Steve Austin are soul mates and are destined to be together forever and ever. (Or have a healthy tolerance for those of us who do.) Bionic Blondes generally hurl things at the TV whenever there’s a scene where Jaime flirts with some guy named Not!Steve.√ You must try to remind yourself that Jaime Sommers wasn’t real, she was just a fictional television character. (I know, take a moment if you need to. I’ll wait.) Therefore you must promise not to take any of this seriously. We are truly devoted fans of this series, but people, jumping off buildings in polyester pantsuits can be funnnnny. If this doesn’t make you chuckle, then you probably aren’t a Bionic Blonde and should pretend you don’t hang out here.√ Live life in slow motion.√ Yes, you may use “bionic” as a verb. Jaime bionics things all the time. ♥ Above all else, you must *heart* Jaime Sommers. ♥
ALL JAIME'S BOYFRIENDS - KEEP OUT, STEVE !Not!Steve (minus) 1.0 David Welch The Bionic WomanIs!Steve 00 ♥♥♥Not!Steve 1.1 – Dr. Michael Marchetti (4 episodes)Not!Steve 1.2 – Tim Sanders Winning is EverythingNot!Steve 1.3 – Dr. Alan Cory The GhosthunterNot!Steve 2.1 – Bob Welton Jaime's ShieldNot!Steve 2.2 – Darwin Jones BiofeedbackNot!Steve 3.1 – Roger Grette The Bionic DogNot!Steve 3.2 – Billy Cole RodeoNot!Steve 3.3 – (unseen) Raymond, Escape to LoveNot!Steve 3.4 – Chris Williams The Pyramid + 3 moreNot!Steve 3.5 – Casey The Martians are ComingNot!Steve 3.6 – Jed Kimball Deadly MusicNot!Steve 3.7 – Tommy Littlehorse Out of BodyNot!Steve 3.8 – Sam Sloan Long Live the King1 - 16
The Bionic Blonde’s Urban Dictionary A definition of terms that often appear in episode commentary that may cause readers to think WTF?... with a link to their episode origins. Ausommers: Our celebrity Astronaut & Tennis Pro supercouple's nickname. Steve Austin + Jaime Sommers = “Ausommers.” Like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie = “Brangelina.” First appeared: The Bionic Woman pt. 2 Big Valley Blouse: The infamous, really low cut, I-can't-believe-the-networks-allowed-this- blouse that Jaime wore in Brain Wash. Budapest!Bonk: The1980s mission explosion in Budapest that reversed / cured Jaime's amnesia and her memories of Steve. First appeared: Return of the SMDM and BW Dr. Crankypants: Rudy Wells, whenever he's in a sour mood. First appeared: The Bionic Dog Jamie's Jammies™: The Bionic Woman's fabulous pajamas, worthy of a QVC Shopping Network line. First appeared: Out of Body Not!Steve: Jaime's relationships or flirtations with guys who aren't Steve Austin. First appeared: The Bionic Dog Stun!Love: Steve's sudden, distant gazes whenever he has romantic flashbacks of Jaime. First appeared: Return of the SMDM and BW Travel Packing Genius: The Bionic Woman's uncanny ability to fit lots and lots of wardrobe changes into one suitcase when traveling on missions. First appeared: African Connection.
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